How will you feel when he has an affair?

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I was on the telephone with my cousin Caryn*. It seems she always has a crisis. It is she that calls me and usually without much of a break in her talking. I had assumed for a while that we could have a mutual friendship. But we didn’t. She used me as much as she could. This time I suppose my issues were heavy enough that I found an opening to share.

She knew that I had finally understood that what my husband was doing was intentional and it was abuse…


What if god doesn’t speak to you?

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One of the requirements of christianity is listening to god

And if you are listening you are supposed to hear something, see something, experience something or have things intervene in your mind or heart.

Christianity has taught me that I need to learn how to listen and hear god speak to me. I am a highly sensitive person and empathic. I tend to be in tune to things in the realm of spirituality. And when I was inside the walls of religion I was trying to listen and to hear god and/or the holy spirit speak to me. In part I was taught…


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Your “good intentions” are hurting me. It is MANIPULATION!

Things are not as they appear within my family.

The situation

I got sick and didn’t go to my family “reunion”. I wanted to see my young niece and nephew. Afterward, seemingly “innocent” messages were sent to me. Yes, I realize that cutting off contact with family members is scandalous.

And it is not just one time or one event. A wide range of people try to insist and persist in coming at me and my children to make each of us understand “their societal code”. I know this issue is something many…


Thank you for sharing this Kristi. I am happy for the positive experience you have. I would love to have time for further dialogue with you. There is so much I see that we could share. Unexpected turns and events have led me on a path of exploring spirituality differently than ever before. I am in a dark, difficult time after seemingly unbearable circumstances. I heard a really good interview with Michelle Clare. She was on Coast to Coast radio program on 6/10/21 And this was enough to allow me explore the possibility. michelleclare.net I too am seeing experiences with…


This is great Kristi! Bravo!!! My mind is spinning about how you could try to press for changes on different levels. Brilliant, creative thought! I love this so much. I can't have another dog until I move. I recently read on this platform that dogs need mental exercise. And I also saw a youtube video that a woman taught her dog to talk using word push buttons on a board. I realize now that my dog (now passed on) needed intellectual exercise. I neglected an entire part of his being.

I am excited about your proposal. Keep us posted on…


Hi Kitanya: I wish you well in the choices you make and the endeavors that you pursue. I am sad to see you go- potentially long term. Your work is necessary and very good. I am sad and discouraged with this platform- Medium. Some of my favorite writers are moving away. I am new to Medium . There are many positives. I feel that reading, investing and community here are important. But many others are expressing the same sentiment as you are. It causes a shift in my thinking and possibly a landslide over the platform. Because earning money is higher priority to me than investing time in Medium or creative purpose, that leaves me more toward leaving. It feels like serious red flags in a relationship. The breakup will be difficult. I hope Medium can fix their relational issues. They are losing really good people and relationships.


Powerful words. I appreciate your affirmation. This is now on a note to post -as a visible affirmation.


WOW Zara, very powerful! Please continue to be alert. As I realized, there is no reason, logic or equation for estimating what a toxic, depraved person may or may not do when what he values is threatened. My daughter fought by my side the entire time. We are more fiercely bonded because of the fight to survive. We ended long term toxic abuse together. We are the first to break the chain of abuse and stand up to it in our ancestry for as far back as I can see. I would not have survived this without her. Thank you…


Good read Michael! What you are sharing seems to beautifully align with thoughts that have played over in my mind for the past months and longer. Your words feel like another stepping stone on my path. And possibly your words generate energy and light to a small spark.

Taylor Swift's song Invisible String, for me connects with your experience. One of her lyrics in this song is: "And isn't it just so pretty to think all along there was some invisible string tying you to me?"

Thank you for sharing this.


I appreciate your sharing this thought process. I have been thinking about my thought processes and habits or coping mechanisms. It is because of trauma I believe- for me. I can see more clearly now because I have made distance between the toxic ones and me. I also am understanding more how the effects have been long term. I always felt so terribly bad in the past. Now I have compassion for the girl (me) that suffered so much abuse and trauma. It is priceless to feel- not alone and isolated. Your sharing is important. You never know who needs to connect and see that they are not alone.

Josie Quinn

I am an expert in dysfunction. I study the people in my life. I am an empath. Narcissists “love” me. I want to share about relationships, pain and strength.

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