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Barbed Wire Relationships
Why are they so critical?
I have been thinking about my aunt and uncle. My life burned down recently. As I was trying to escape from an abusive spouse and going through the divorce process, I had to also distance from my family. I can now see how they are a large part of the problem.
I am accustomed to being criticized by family members. But my uncle, especially was my chosen one. I gravitated toward him, especially after my grandfather (his dad) died when I was fifteen. I needed a male presence in my life. And they were my guys.
But in the aftermath of all that I have endured, I am reevaluating everything and every relationship.
The main thought that has been plaguing me is, “Why are they so critical?” I didn’t want to think that…
I guess what I didn’t want to think is, that they didn’t love me. I willed them to care about me, so I convinced myself that they did. And in some ways, I think they did. But to me, love isn’t demeaning, devaluing and criticizing someone that loves you.
I know absolutely, there is a familial and societal trend, that I am very in touch with. And it is a drill Seargent, grab you by the shirt, spit in your face and toughen you up kind of mentality. It is the mindset that agitation is motivation and criticism is what will toughen you up and “make a…
