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Divorced, Drunken And Disorderly
A girl walks into a liquor store…
Actually I walked into a grocery store. Alcohol was the thing I would have forgotten. I was out of vodka and this grocery store has a liquor store within the store and usually has what I am looking for.
I was wearing a glowing autumn gold 90’s sweatshirt and black yoga pants. My scandalous and dangerously divorced ass was not cautiously concealed. And there was no police crime tape to distance others from the scene. We all know that a divorced woman in yoga pants is an explicit invitation to all husbands everywhere.
And my formerly wedded ring finger was naked and gone rogue.
I tagged along with my son to do some errands. In the entryway of the grocery store someone was speaking to me. I reluctantly looked and saw that it was Jean and Jack who live on the same street as I do. She said hello. I had to stop my forward progress and acknowledge them.
My son said she heard my voice, but he is 6 feet, 7 inches tall. It’s difficult not to see him. I blame him for blowing our cover.
She thought I didn’t recognize them. I was not paying attention and did NOT want to be seen or talked to especially by a neighbor. I looked at them and said, “Oh, hi”. Jean said, “Oh, it’s really hard to tell with these masks on.” I thought yes, but…
