Hi Darht: First I want to clarify to see if what I was thinking when I wrote this was clear. My meaning is that I believe my family's expectation of me is not appropriate. I didn't mean that my action is inappropriate or double standard. I need to reread that part to see if I should clarify there. Otherwise I am tracking with you on what you are saying. I agree with what you say there. I am tripping over the " refuse recognize... trauma" especially: They do not acknowledge trauma (or me). They have no word in their vocabulary. Further if you work out the "equation", they normalize, enable and deny toxic behavior / abuse. And I firmly believe they do not care (true and genuine care). It is a difficult realization to digest because somehow I can't understand people like this. It's good that I can't. I know they exist. And they don't genuinely care about anything but themselves. Wouldn't I know if they were capable of connection?