Hi Todd: Yes knowing intuitively...

Boundaries: I began to learn what boundaries looked like for me, gradually. And it was after I began to understand who he was, what he was doing and what narcissistic abuse is.

Yes only looking back.

I would be interested to know what discard looked like for you. I was discarded "in house", but he was never going to let go of me. He didn't want to work to find a new supply; was stingy with money and didn't want me to cause him any "problems" (such as divorce/leaving).