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How it Feels Being Estranged from my Mother
Mother’s Day and holidays and occasions roll around again
Another Mother’s Day rolls around and it is a reminder of a painful reality- my reality. It may be any occasion or holiday that is difficult. It may be a regular day or interactions with friends or family members that hurt.
Mother’s Day is the day that people like me, avoid all social media like it is poison. All of the tributes, messages and love expressed make the wound feel freshly painful. It’s great that people love their family members. It is good if they have healthy relationships. And maybe ignorance is bliss. There are a lot of people I know that flap about how great their family members are even when there is serious dysfunction.
I have never used the word estranged regarding my mother. To me it is more about getting the space and time that I need for healing. And I have to shield myself from being hurt more. It has been survival and avoidance. If I was going to survive and get away from my husband, I also had to “go dark”. I have not spoken to my mom for a couple of years. I went to a family reunion (I call it dys-union). Even when I saw her, she did not connect or engage with us. But that is typical of her.
Over time I had gradually become more distant and faded away in the contact I had with her and other family members…
