I am sorry about your fur baby. I understand the horrible dread. I lost mine rather recently.

May I recommend this to you? (if you are in the U.S)... Have you heard of Lap of Love veterinary hospice? They came to my house and made something dreadful the best experience it could possibly have been. The vet that came to my house was incredibly warm and loving. They have resources and support online.

their site is: https://www.lapoflove.com/

I love animals and it was great that my little guy got to be home and well loved. It's great that you have such a great connection with your animal.