I appreciate this. Thank you.

Often, your work is riveting and feels a bit gutting. A necessary ripping off of the duct tape I was wrapped up in.

You have me thinking of and scanning pastors I may have known... I think in that case, if they liked the guy, they would say it was beyond his control (not his fault) and surround him with some staged support. "Surrounding" causes me to think of the scene in the oval office of Christian "pastors"/ "leaders" with their hands on Donald Trump. How much do they elevate him? How many divorces has he initiated? Don't they say he is God's appointed/anointed man, for such a time as this?

There is a Christian man at a local mechanics garage. He was reading his Christian book when I came in and said he was going through a divorce. I said a compassionate reply and that often the Church is not supportive. He said, "Oh no, they have been very supportive." He also has been blatantly demeaning and condescending to me in general business interactions. What do women know about anything!?%$#@&!

One of the small country churches I once attended, would quickly run a preacher out for not aligning with their legalistic track. I don't think they would care about "adultery" or divorce. They would envy the act.

Didn't they portray CS as upstanding and it all beyond his control? It's always easy to make the woman crazy and unhinged.

GC: [It clicked with me that AG's ex is also this same name. Both Gary's have unusual middle names.]

Yes, I know this. It is a tactic of last resort. "Oh, dang, I'm in trouble, let's get to counseling." Then he will say he tried and did everything in his power. "But she..."

You are saying that he turned his "crisis" into a counseling book? Feels a bit like the E. Eliott writing for what Christians would want to hear and how to make some Christian $$'s

"a way of helping Evangelical men bargain": OH, wow, yes. Spot on. Sickening to see that counseling and love languages can be used as a ploy to get women to think that he does really care, after all. And it is often used as theater. He us making a showing that he is "trying" (for Christians they try to keep it all "in house").It is a tool, but often weaponized and manipulation. Why not use God against us?! It is one of the most cunning ways to control.

So many youtube/podcast/interviews with youngish guy hosts bring up the "love languages". A lot of these things are about health, relationships, etc. This love language bit has rooted in with a 20 to 30 something generation. I expected younger ones to be more cognizant of the content.

I remembered that the other part of the religious equation for women is: if they do remarry, it is adultery.

And I was reminded that I bought a TD Jakes book: The Lady, Her Lover, Her Lord. UGH! The description sounded reasonable. He did go for the female audience. Was it ghostwritten by a woman? The cringe feeling, I think is deep regret and grieving for lifetimes of believing so much that was never real. The "Good News" really is that I got the book PD (pre deconstruction) and I never read it.

BONFIRE!!! 🔥 📚 🔥