I have compassion for what you are going through now and what you have endured. I can feel the emotion and exhaustion through your words. I am sad that you have endured abuse, neglect and trauma.
Regarding domestic violence and abuse:
...However, the two cases of violence and murder are severely out of place. Adding these in, disturbs me deeply. To do so is flipping the situation and assigning levels of victimhood to the violent ones that tortured and committed murder. There is within this, suggestion that the ones murdered, bear some responsibility or deserved their fate. In both of those cases there exists so much more detail. I have endured lifetimes of intensely bad treatment, abuse and violence. Suggesting "understanding" (in these kinds of cases) for moving into violence and murder, is enabling and neutralizing their horrific behavior. The abusers and violent perpetrators always justify their behaviors. They don't need anyone else assisting them. This is difficult for me because it feels like opening the door for "understanding" my (and others') abusers' torture, neglect and violence. It is extremely difficult to survive and begin to heal. We are also trying to survive our abusers' smear campaign and lies about us. Abusers move about after destroying us, looking shiny and untouched.