I have had to gradually and finally ghost my mother and other family members to protect myself, survive and begin to heal. My family is highly toxic (including narcissistic abuse), and no one else acknowledges this. I see signs that the mom in your example has very concerning behaviors. I know the pain of people coming at me and telling me I am wrong for having no contact with my mother (family). We need to support those of us who are suffering from destructive relationships (parents).
I would never make amends with my ex spouse. I tried too hard before I finally got away from him. I don't think we should make peace with toxic people. It's difficult to know the whole picture of your example. But my children are so much better with a no contact situation with their toxic parent.
I strongly support people who need time and distance to get a better perspective on their situation, to feel, reflect, care for themselves and heal. It is painful to not have support and understanding.