I hear what you are saying. I would not say that my ex narc was my soul mate. He claimed we were soul mates, but it is a narc ploy. I do agree that my experience and trauma caused by toxic narcs have led to me being forged and refined into a warrior and a more beautiful and solid version of me. I am not willing to accept that my ex was a soul mate. He is evil and sadistic. Your articulation of this seems as if suffering trauma is what is meant for us. I am still exploring and searching for meaning of the traumatic experiences. But how many people will never recover or be able to survive these toxic creatures.
I can understand your process. But that bit doesn't sit right for me.