I love how clearly you see this issue and your strength in caring about your friend and her daughter. You know your friend well enough to know if she can hear this or not. And yes, if she can't hear it, the messenger will always get "attacked" regardless of whether you have children. I hope you can spend time investing in a relationship with her daughter. It sounds like you have so much to share with her. I wish I had someone like you when I was younger.

" the rhetoric that unconditional love is what toxic men are owed from their captive women": yes, sadly true.

The toxic messages I got from my parents and other family members, groomed me and set me up perfectly for the next destructive relationships. Because I had never learned or really understood my value and worth and the bar was set so low for me, I got into other toxic relationships and a marriage that nearly destroyed me.

Hang in there with that girl. I am glad she has someone that cares so strongly for her.

I appreciate your reply and connection.