This just bubbled up a memory. The narc I was married to was typically "measured" and had ice in his veins. But I am remembering the times that his rage and hostility seeped out. Because he created a constant fog of chaos and had me perpetually pushed back on my heels, I couldn't see the root of his rage. If I could rewind the tapes, knowing what I know now, I would be able to see what triggered him. Before I got away from him, I knew his game. The tables were turned and I was working toward getting out (though I didn't know if I would).