Wow Adeline, at the end of your article I am emotionally crushed and grieving for you and your beloved velvety nosed friend. How can we love and not feel loss? There is so much within this that I connect deeply with: your mother, your family, friends, neglect, loneliness, loss of a deep connection with my beloved animal, mistakes and feeling disillusioned, emotion, growing and learning... Seeing your mother's behavior helps me to situate my experience. I have friends that are not friends, parents that are not good and I need to move far away. I actually am imagining life in California (and before reading your article). Your sharing of emotion and vulnerability is amazing. I love your photography and the visual beauty of it. Well done!