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Writing On Medium: Painful Healing
Discoveries, Connection, Community, Hope
Writing on medium is a terrifying and exhilarating ride full of unexpected emotions. As I am writing I am unearthing things about my relationships and experiences that I had not understood before. There are a lot of things that are deep in the catacombs of my personal experience. So many things I have experienced but not dissected or explored more deeply until now.
I have, for the most part, only spoken about my experiences to my children (young adults). My daughter has been the unfortunate, captive, bystander to most of my rambling about life and history. She is well informed on so many levels of life experiences.
Writing and sending it out into the unknown via publishing, is still a bit paralyzing for several reasons. I am seeing perfection that threatens to keep me frozen. I feel fear.
I am afraid of negative or toxic comments. I am afraid of criticism. I am afraid of not getting it right. I am afraid that people will discredit and devalue what I dare to say. I am afraid of “daring greatly”. (as Brene Brown says)
It is difficult to tell my story. It means admitting and confessing so much that is me. It is where I came from, what my life has been and how messed up it is. And writing it, dredges it all up. I have to see it, feel it, face it…
