Yael, you unpacked so much thought here. You have said so many things that I have thought and felt over time. I never wanted to "date" because I didn't want to have to deal with all of that. At this point in my life, it seems dating, especially online dating is definitely- opt out. Aren't there so many "what ifs" and doubt that seep in after that decision? I believe that a benefit of friendship relationships is that it would filter out narcissists and psychopaths. How do I know that? He would not have tolerated a friendship. He needed to speed things along. He cannot afford to let you find out his true core. Great read! I really appreciate the thought and strong self value and self care in this! I need to be in a group of friends like you. :)