You see I am still thinking about this... I see patterns in abuse. And regardless of the situation, it always goes back to the root of power and control, right?

The pattern is that the "toxic ones" invite you into and offer you some of what they are doing. It is pulling in closer the one they see as the "truth teller". Once you take and bite the proverbial apple, you are, at that point, forever, stained and guilty. The moment "he" joins in or accepts their offer, then they have the power over him of blaming, shaming, implicating and proof of guilt. "Afterall, you are the partaker". "You shall not expose, lest you also expose yourself." They are working to cover their deeds. They try to keep the potentially errant ones under control. Tactics to hide their secrets.

I have experienced similar behavior and see it repeated in so many situations.